Junk in the trunk

I do have to say that this Lent season has been a real eye opener...and it's not even over yet! Giving up Facebook has given me some much needed time for reflection on so many things. I feel like I can see so much clearer, I've cleaned out  some junk in my life (literally and figuratively), and most importantly I've grown closer to God. 

When Pastor Steve put the challenge out to give something up for Lent that was taking up more time in our lives than God, Facebook was an easy answer for me. What I wasn't expecting was the work that God was going to do in my life during this time. What a fool I am! Wasn't that the point?! I've taken a lot of time to focus on relationships in my life. While I don't understand why things happen, I do understand that it's not necessarily my job to understand but to obey. 1 John 4:19 says "we love because he first loved us". I will live that out every single day. However, I have come to the realization that sometimes you just have to let relationships go and love from afar. Maybe just through prayer. I'm ok with that. 

 

Thank you, Lord, for helping me get the junk outta my trunk. 

Reality Smack

Sometimes life doesn't give you just a reality check. It's more like a reality smack right in the face. Whoever invented the "tween" years can have them back. This momma isn't a fan. Even though we are almost out of them and the thought of having a teenager is enough to make me want to crawl into a hole and not come out until he's twenty. When your kids are little, they are so dependent on you and you find yourself wishing them older. Then time starts going faster and faster and it feels like I've barely blinked my eyes and the entire elementary years are all but gone. Suddenly I'm not cool anymore and I've been banned from being on school grounds or anywhere within a noticeable distance of my twelve year old. We can hardly hold a conversation anymore because he's too busy Snapchatting with his friends. And worst of all, I'm not even worthy of his respect. How did this happen? This certainly isn't the boy I raised. My boy loved me to the moon and back, and told me I'm his best friend, and no one could boss him because "his mommy was the boss of him". It doesn't matter if he was two when he said these things. They are forever in my heart. I can only hope this is just a passing phase and my sweet boy will someday like me again.

Ah, reality. You suck.

The Journey Continues

It's been a couple weeks of clean eating now so I thought I'd give an update as to how it's going so far. Let me start by saying I feel AMAZING!! I've only had one questionable migraine...one of those where I couldn't decide if I should take my medicine or just go to bed and hope it was gone in the morning. Generally, I regret not taking my medicine so I did and felt fine in the morning.

The hardest part so for has been trying to kick my extreme sugar addiction. Wowsa, I was addicted to that junk! Every day is getting better though...as long as I don't see ice cream. :) My diet is about 95% clean, so nearly everything I eat is not processed or contain preservatives. Hopefully I can make it to 100%, but that would mean no more sneaking a sweet treat and there. My mindset is slowly starting to change about food so hopefully I can get there soon. I eat to refuel my body, not necessarily for pleasure. That's a hard habit to break!

I think the biggest surprise I've had so far was how fast my body reacted to the change in my diet. Within a week I felt like a totally different person. I have so much more energy and just feel better overall. I never realized that I didn't have energy before! I was starting to think that how good I felt was all in my head until Mother's Day weekend when I had some treats at my moms for dinner. Who can resist her fabulous cooking (and cupcakes)?! I felt so sluggish and my hands and feet were so swollen after the meal that I knew this isn't all in my head after all! Our bodies are so amazing and it's been really interesting to learn how food makes such a difference in how it works and how we feel. I'm still not sold that this lifestyle is the 'cure' for my headaches....I could just happen to be going through a smooth stretch right now. Time will tell if this is really working as well as it appears to be so far. I am convinced though that this is the lifestyle for me. I really do feel great!

A New Leaf

After a miserable day yesterday spent with another migraine....much of which was in a drug-induced haze, it's time to turn over a new leaf. It's one that I've been talking about for months, have partially adopted, but just can't seem to fully commit to. Two rounds of my 'as needed, in case of migraine-emergency' pills left me still not able to get out of bed yesterday, so off to see my doctor for a couple shots to knock me (and the headache) out for the count.

While talking with my doctor yesterday, I threw out a question to him not having any idea how he would respond. I've done a ton of research on migraine headaches and it seems that people have had success with treating them by adopting a clean eating lifestyle. By clean eating I mean eating nothing containing preservatives. As in goodbye my beloved Xyience energy drink that I indulge in several times a week, goodbye Fudge Rounds that I sneak for breakfast on occasion, and biggest of all....basically goodbye to eating out. While he said that there is no scientific research that specifically proves that eating a processed-free food diet will eliminate migraines, he knows for a fact that people have had success. He also went on to say that since I get migraines so frequently and we've never been able to figure out a known food trigger (as many people can), it would definitely be worth it for me to give it a try. OK....I'm buying into this idea a little more now. His next words sold me....if this works, I can stop one of my daily medicines. If I'm STILL good after that, we can eliminate the second daily medicine. SOLD!! I'll do about anything to stop being dependent on medicine every day. Yuck.

Now, the hard part. How in the world am I going to implement this? How will I succeed? How am I going to live without all the sugar-laden junk food that I so dearly love? My solution....Lots of prayer and complete change of mindset. I have to quit thinking about everything I'm giving up and start thinking about what I'm gaining. Even in the chance that this doesn't eliminate my migraines, I can't imagine how much better I'll feel just in eating a completely healthy diet. No matter what it's a win. I try so hard not to get discouraged when I get headaches. After all, there are so many worse things to have wrong with me that are out of my control. If I can cure this just by diet, I'd be crazy and extremely selfish not to!!

So....who wants to join me in this endeavour? Anyone?? At least help keep me accountable?? This crazy trip starts tomorrow, May 1st. I'm going to stick to it best I can for at least 30 days. That should be a good indicator as to if it's working to curb my headaches or not. Pray for me that this works! I plan to blog about how it's going, so stay tuned!

Sweet, Sweet Heather

Life moves so fast. Too fast. People come and go in our lives and you never know when someone is going to come into your life and have such a profound impact on you that you know that you will never be the same again. Things happen that you don't expect and it just knocks you off your feet. God is awesome like that.

I had this feeling deep within me that this Lent season was going to be life changing for me, but I couldn't put my finger on why. I prayed numerous times about what to give up for Lent, and all that I kept coming up with was 'negativity'. Umm...ok? That isn't something I really wanted to fast from for only 40 days,  but I did certainly want to rid it from my life! I really felt like God was speaking that to me, so I went with it....and failed. Repeatedly. Until Holy Week rolled around....

Meet Heather. Heather and her family attend my church. She and her brother come to youth group on Wednesdays. Heather has some health issues and is in a motorized wheel chair, but she is ALWAYS smiling despite whatever pain she might be in. I chat with her most Wednesday's at youth, but she's in high school and I'm a middle school leader so I don't always have the opportunity to talk with her too much. However, last Wednesday our youth led a Cross Walk throughout town as part of Holy Week. Not long after the walk started, the cold air started to bother Heather. I happened to be right next to her and looked over to see a frown on her face. I asked if she was ok and she started to cry a bit. We got out of the crowd of people, she had some medicine with her and rested a minute and all was well. I asked if she wanted to stop, if the cold was too much, but she was not to be stopped. I'm pretty sure the response I got was "NO WAY!" So, off we went. I took about three steps and Heather reached up and grabbed my hand. From that point on, we were a team walking hand in hand. And at that moment my life forever changed.

All I could think about the rest of the way was how happy Heather is. Her smile couldn't get any bigger if she tried! I love that!! This walk was a nightmare for her body. The sidewalks on First Avenue are terrible, let alone for someone in a motorized wheelchair bouncing around in them. The air was cold making it hard for her to breathe. She didn't let it defeat her. At one point we were a couple blocks behind the rest of the group and we shared so many laughs trying to catch up to them. It was probably a good thing I was laughing as my eyes were welled up with tears for the majority of the way. Any negativity from me was certainly out the window now! How could I let anything upset me in my life when here is Heather hanging on to my hand, laughing, smiling and loving life when in fact, she has pain and so many things she could be complaining about? My heart was overflowing with joy at that moment. Heather's brother was also on the walk. The bond between the two of them is incredible. He knew where his sister was at the entire time. If she was struggling, he was right there beside her. I even told him a couple times to go on up ahead with the group and promised to take care of his sister, but he wasn't having it! He knows her needs and is always there to make sure she is ok. It is so heartwarming to see how much they love each other.

The point of the Cross Walk was to carry the cross from the square back to our church to get a sense of the suffering that Jesus went through. It was to be quiet and a time of reflection. Well....those times when Heather and I (and the others that were with us, too) were behind the rest of the group weren't exactly quiet. Heather and I were laughing hysterically the entire time. Oops?? No, I'm not sorry for it. I'm confident that was exactly God's plan. It was exactly what I needed. I'm confident that was the feeling I had way down deep at the beginning of Lent that I couldn't quite figure out. Negativity....gone. God is amazing!

Thank you, Heather, for being you. Love you, girl!

"My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." -Galatians 2:20

SSMT Verse #5

Have you ever been doing something when a random and completely unrelated thought pops into your head and completely consumes you? Today as I was sitting down to my lunch of leftover mashed potatoes and Sunny D (carbs, anyone???), I found myself taken back to my Grandpa Frank's shop. Oh what memories! My grandpa owned a truck accessory business and I was lucky enough to clean the office for him every Saturday for the high price of $5/week. Cleaning a bathroom that only men used all week was definitely not worth the $5 alone...plus I dusted and vacuumed the office, too.

I may have been Grandpa's favorite though (sorry Jackie and Josh, truth hurts!) and he often paid me extra with candy I loved and it wasn't unusual for him to flip me an extra $5 or $10 if he knew I was saving my money for something in particular. Most importantly, he always paid me in more love than any one person could give. He loved me for all that I was. You see, he loved me in my most unlovable moments. Those moments when my parents wanted to sell me to the circus and never look back! That's saying a lot....I was a challenge to love growing up! :) Unfortunately, Grandpa Franks life was cut way too short. It makes me so sad that I don't get to share my most lovable moments of life with him. It's little moments like today when a memory comes flashing back out of nowhere that I smile and remember how great he was. His earthly life may be over, but my love for him will never end. Can't wait until we meet again, Grandpa Frank! xoxo

Love never ends. As far as prophecies, they will pass; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.  1 Corinthians 13:8 (ESV)

Siesta Scripture Memory Verse #4

On to the fourth verse already! Where is the time going? For any of my friends who may read this and have no clue what in the world I'm talking about, let me back this train up for a second and explain... I, along with several others, am participating in Beth Moore's Siesta Scripture Memory Verse Team. We have committed to choosing and memorizing Bible verse every two weeks for all of 2013. I am so glad to be part of this, so far it has been amazing to see God working in my life through this!

So my verse for this week is simple, yet effective...

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me."  Matthew 16:24 NLT

For Lent, I chose to give up negativity. I prayed and prayed about what I should give up and this just kept coming back to me. I think I was hoping for an easier answer! I'm not always a negative person - I'd like to think that more often than not I'm pretty positive. But it is the one quality about myself that I really, REALLY can't stand. Sometimes I jump to negative conclusions, sometimes I see the bad in things instead of only looking for the good. Is this God-honoring behavior? Or loving how Jesus would love? I don't think so. My hope is that by giving up this bad habit for 40 days the habit will be broken!

Will anyone else take up their cross and come along too??